Helping vs Not making the child independent

Example

Helping the baby to grab an object when she finds it hard to reach
Gently push the baby over to roll when she only does halfway rolling

Is that bad?

One viewpoint is that it is good so that it shows the baby what to do - helps her learn the ropes.
Another viewpoint is that you are not letting the baby to figure things out herself.

Of course, this example as a baby, is nothing when you compare to adolescent, teenager years

If I were the kid, I want to figure things out myself.  It gives me so much more sense of accomplishment if I manage to figure it out myself.  If my mom keep on interrupting me and "showing" me what to do,  it actually makes me lost confidence that I could do it myself. Or it could make me feel lazy, as my mom will show it anyway. Or it could make me feel delusional and think 'things are easy', not appreciating the journey. There are definitely implications.

There is this TV show, This is us - Season 2,  shows a very interesting episode about a mother who in the name of 'help', made the daughter lost her self confidence.  The mother did not realise it, the gap went on for three decades.

So as a mom, I need to find the balance between - encouraging development / productive / giving constructive criticism  - vs - affecting her self esteem

Once the kid able to express more (verbally or non-verbally),  I would be guided by her cues - and only help her if she asks for help.


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