At this age, life is still simple, I can help decipher & assist her with it
Alexis is super earnest.
- Not enough sleep, only slept 10pm to 6am
- Wake up at 6am realising I am not there
- She cries and when I ran to her she calms down and lie down again, and quickly she feels happy after I fill her cup
- We are pretty happy together
- Daddy comes
- Joke about the bo bei song, how alexis likes this 'gay' song. Alexis laughs and proud.
- I was telling daddy re the bo bei song, daddy jokes as to he does NOT want to hear it because its gay
- Alexis takes offense because she really thought daddy rejects her
- I was calming her down telling her that daddy is only joking
- Daddy quickly changed his tone and say he wants to hear it
- Alexis calms down
- Then we hear garbage truck noise
- Alexis shouts (garbage truck!)
- Daddy and I quickly realised that it is only 6am so the garbage truck just passing, not actually disposing
- Daddy quickly realised he has not put out the bin, so he was about to leave!
- Alexis cried because daddy is leaving without taking her (she can't run as fast as daddy)
- I quickly explained and daddy quickly realised that alexis misunderstood, thinking daddy is leaving to garbage truck without her
- Daddy quickly realised and explained its just that he almost forgot putting the bin out but alexis won't accept it and still cry, so daddy took her outside with him
- After she calms down and we went back into the house, I explain that its only 6am, so not 7am yet, garbage truck only passing
- Alexis is ok but since then she is not the same. She appears more sensitive.
- She said she wants to eat- i realised that she must be hungry!
- She then realised her dolly panda is missing
- I told her its under the blanket
- She got upset because she cannot see it
- I pulled blanket and panda dolly appeared
- Alexis pleasantly surprised and her mood lightened up
- Alexis feels better and she starts rolling around on bed
- I said eat
- She continue rolling and gives me the cheeky smile
- I made the call to push her into eating as I know she hasn't eaten since 5:30pm
- I wanted daddy to do it so I can document all of these
- Daddy normally can do breakfast, I thought
- Daddy carried her but Alexis got angry even how he does not know where to put her stroller and she got angry (she expect a mind reader)
- Thats when i realised that when ALexis is in the sensitive hangry mode, I, rather than daddy, tand a better chance not to 'aggravate' her as I am more micro and more attuned and more fast.
- She is hangry because last time she had dinner was 5:30pm. At this point, she is super sensitive.
- When she is in sensitive mode, a lot of verbal assurances are necessary to maintain her ease
- So I took over in managing her until she takes her first bite (which is still a long time away)
- I stepped up and said let me do breakfast and 'break off' alexis's dissatisfaction with daddy
- Alexis attention turns to me and I give her that reassurance 'i got you' look
- she felt a little bit calmer but still pretty worked up
- I asked her with a confident tone - 'can i put the bread in the toaster for you'? ..'or do you want to do it?' she was hangry and weak, so she indicated that i can do it
- Then at that point i should continue with my verbal reassurance, eg. "ok now that the bread is in the toaster, it won't be long until it pops back out, let me get you cashew and jam to prepare first"
- I didn't, my default mode is pretty quiet and just productive
- She couldn't wait just break down again crying
- I realised that she needed more of me, so I went to her stroke her back, etc, just be there whilst she is trying to process her emotions
- Then she muttered 'garbage truck' - as in daddy left to see garbage truck without me
- So clearly she has unresolved emotions there, she does not understand why daddy left her
- Then I went on to explain that she misunderstand, her daddy wanted to leave to put the bin out, because garbage truck not come yet
- but this logic was hard for her to understand, she appears a bit better but still struggling
- Daddy clued up and went to her and apologised for making her feel sad. It appears to be alot more effective than my bunch of explanations.
- Alexis appeared so much better with daddy trying to comfort her and him explaining just hold more weight than mine, as he is the subject matter
- Alexis was shaken because she questions the 'trust relationship' between daddy and her, but her dad's reassurance put her back on track
- She finally able to pick up her knife and go back to the bread making business
- she was still shaken and not as effective
- I just wanted her to take that first bite, as she is hungry, angry, sad, and now exhausted
- I took back the management of alexis back from daddy
- The bread is done in toaster and i took out some plate
- normally we do two plates, one orange and one green
- but i could not see the green so i give her an orange plate and a pink plate
- she does not want the pink plate
- i said it does not matter baby
- she got worked up
- then i realised i dont want to pick fight at this point, i just wanted her to take that first bite
- i found the green plate and swap it with the pink, she is ok again
- then - I guided her through her navigating her knife to the cashew
- she does not want to be guided, she handed me the other knife to the strawberry jam
- she put the cashew bottle right next to the bread
- she got worked up when i don't put strawberry jam right next to the other bread
- she expected me to copy her, or for us to synchronise
- so i realised and i followed her every T
- i did it too quick and i put the strawberry jam on one bread
- seeing her struggling so much, i folded the bread with the jam and offered her to take her first bite
- she got worked up because thats not how you do it - normally we got the two bread done with cashew and jam, fold then eat - so not like this
- i asked her if she wants strawberry jam put on the other bread
- she said no, shes doing cashew, she said put the strawberry jam away
- (i knew she would want strawberry jam on that other bread too)
- i put the strawberry jam and its knife to the sink
- she got worked up as she wants me to put strawberry jam into the fridge (i.e. completely finished with the jam)
- i did not argue with her and put it in the fridge
- then i caught her licking the cashew knife
- i said 'well i have to pack that cashew away' as it is our rule not double dip, once you lick the knife that means that's it, you cannot put that same knife to the cashew bottle, its over
- she argued to say there is the other knife (that i use for strawberry jam)
- well she is not wrong, so i reopened the cashew bottle and offer it to her
- she took a bit more cashew using the other knife
- then i put the cashew away
- then she got worked up because she wants to put strawberry jam into that same bread (she expected me to know this)
- so i went to fridge and got it back for her
- she applied that strawberry jam - i tried to fasten the process so she does not stay hungry for too long as un-offensively as i can
- she finally done and she folded both bread
- the entire time i keep it as easy going, as supportive, as 'its not a big deal' atmosphere
- the moment she is being productive, i put on radio music to lift her mood
- so she finally took that first bite
- HALLELUJAH
- then i can leave her with her daddy eating breakfast and do my own stuff (typing this blog entry)
- 2 mins later she get a bit insecure and is looking for me again
- then i reappeared in a jokey way - made her smile
- repeat this process twice
- then she is ok after finished eating she is back in good mood and in her normal reasonable self