Blossom of Alexis is an inspiration for Remi

 Alexis, the beautiful person of who she is today, is no accident.

I believe I have nurtured a lot to have her brain development to grow very well.

I am determined to put the same amount of effort for Remi. 

I must admit it is MUCH harder when you have to juggle between the two kids.

I tell myself. Three more years for Remi to reach 4.5, for her to reach to a reasonable person.

By then I will be 42 years old, good lord. 

I want to put that much effort. But at the same time, I want to know I am doing well in life. 

I also want to do my own stuff sometimes. 

Is life suppose to be this 'full', this 'suffocating' sometimes? 

My life has always been full, even before kids.

But I guess now, it need to be much more deliberate. More cut throat. 

And more purposeful. 

Alexis's food - seeking professional is my priority. Documenting that thoughts. 

Remi - just spending quality time with her, growing together with her. 

Admittedly, after hours, I do need other people to keep Alexis 'engaged'. 

Remi can grow in terms of playdough creations. 

Alexis can grow in terms of science experiments, fabric making, piano, etc.  

I am sure both kids will continue to be busy/

And I want to continue to support them. 

* * * 

Do not waste the negative energy on people who is not worth your energy

I look forward the day where I stopped breastfeeding, more confident in spending my time with Remi, feed her well, feed both kids well. 

I look forward to the day where Remi is front facing. That way we can travel to more places. 

I am happy I got a friend - Renee, who is so similar to me. 

I can only try, and keep trying.

* * * 

I am proud that I give my kids so much kindness, so much autonomy.

So much teaching.  I am protecting their energy.   

Everyday. 

I want to look after myself a little bit better. 

* * * 

Naturopath for myself

Counsellor for myself

Feeding specialist for Alexis