Why am I enrolling our child to a Private School

The ongoing debate: Private School vs Public School

Context:  High School only

Gives the child a sense of belonging that she can be proud of

- is it a headstart? I believe it is

- does it gives the child confidence? I believe it can

- the pitch to the child:  look, it really doesn't matter which school you go to, the most important is you put your own effort into it. but the school is alright. 

- the pitch will NOT be - its an expensive school! u gotta do well in it or else!! - I don't plan to pitch it this way

Quality of environment

- naturally, the fellow students, the fellow parents, the fellow school community - are more affluent

- either they are affluent or they work very hard to put their kids to expensive school

- naturally that means there will be more of well-sufficient, productive, efficient people that make up this community

- generally speaking - majority of the population - parents tend to work hard (often dual income in today's age) to provide - their minds are filled with work, work, work.  they don't have enough time / mental space to invest into their child.  but i beg to differ, Work is not a priority to me anymore. i would try to provide that education, dedicate that time, starting from home.  This does not necessarily mean public school or private school, but definitely want to surround myself with more like-minded parents

Quality of teachers

- better teachers go to places that are better paid

- teachers that are passionate, that takes pride of their quality of teaching

- there will be an expectation of support towards the child, should the child have shortfalls / weakness

International opportunities / broaden your world view

- if you are good enough to go to Oxford or Cambridge for a school experience, then why not?   Its like you are automatically being put into a fast bullet train that gets you to explore the world.  

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Downsides - money

The money that can be spent elsewhere...  so many other things..

Downsides - travelling

Can we afford to move closer? Who knows...

Downsides - risk of snobbiness - unable to cope

This is just a possibility.  Often you don't feel that snobbiness, provided you hangout with the right groups within your class. But the effect of this really depends on the individual.  The risk is for the individual to

- feel inferior because everyone else seems richer than her

- feel jealous because everyone else seems to be able to afford nicer things

- feel low self esteem because getting snubbed by condescending people

There is definitely a risk of that what I would call, unnecessary, dynamics. But at the same time, if you can get through that:

- you will be strong

- you will grow a backbone to say "its your parents that are rich, not you"

- it propels you to study harder 

- you stay above the peer pressure, that is, you simply recognises these people, but you don't feel the need to "be like them"

 If she is strongly the kind of child that is prone to it, even from primary school (i.e. no backbone, have severe confidence / jealous issue) then this is the time when I will reconsider withdrawing her enrollment into private school. 

Downsides - risk of snobbiness - too proud

The other effect is for you to be delusional, that you belong to this "elite group", for you to end up feeling too proud of yourself and you look down other people. Well guess what child, mama is the type that can shoot you back down to the ground - keep you grounded.

* * *

How about public school ?

Not ruling out public school completely.

Of course when it comes to a very good public school, it will also have nice environment, good teachers, good students too - it meets the needs. But in my case, I have to move house to get close to whatever that good public school is.  Otherwise it may be hard to get in.  Moving house is something we can contemplate at a later time, if it work out that way, then why not. Too stressful in the meantime. 

Does it has to be a very good public school?  How about just "any" public school? Well I would think, if I can put my child into the "better train", have more opportunities, broaden her horizons more, get her to meet more quality people, then why not?

Celebrations in being a Mom

I am reflecting upon my life so far - from being pregnant to becoming a mom. My life has changed forever 15 months ago.

What does it mean being a Mom? There are so many ways to perceive. I finally made up my own perspective. This perspective is a conscious choice, picked by me, in terms of how I want to see myself, how I want the society to see me.  And of course, I pick a celebration.

* * *

A career woman,  a devotee to my family - in my own way

In my previous life, I was a career woman and a devotee to my family.  Work was a huge part of my life - I took my role seriously, from a graduate accountant, taxation accountant, financial accountant, financial manager, financial specialist. I loved my job. Being in Anglo for 5 years, I knew a lot of systems and I gained pretty good technical skill & understanding on how everything works. On top of that, I am no fool when it comes to people - I was able to built genuine rapport with most of my work people, and I escaped politics simply by being kind and genuine.  As such, I was  valued by many, by my bosses, peers, sub-ordinates, as I always just focus on giving.

I knew I was extreme - but my extremity was what set me apart - in good ways & in bad ways. The good ways - people respected me highly, people knows I was one of the most dedicated person ever, people does not question my integrity - I can rock up to work late, and be away for half a day and people never question me - they just think I am just busy at meetings. The bad ways - I can be too serious, I can be too robotic / my jokes can be sarcastic, and if I let my guard down somewhat, but in a very silent / awkward way. I refuse to talk too much during social environments. I did not change who I was, I was simply moulding it to the best I could, to suit the corporate environment.

A devotee to my family, I saw a lot of shortfalls amongst my family members, trying to fill the gaps and doing the best I could to make them productive. Even if it means effectively managing a business (or 2, or 3) outside my day job. I spent most of my weekends doing bookkeepings, BAS, budgeting, etc.

When we moved house, when we started devoting ourselves to this big business, when we started to devote ourselves into everything babies, and our own health issues...   the career part of me & the family devotee - has gone out of the window.

* * *

And then I have lost a sense of who I was, the me that I have always known for the last many years.

* * *

Building a new life & a sense of self identity

To say life was hard in the last 15 months was an understatement. I struggled big time adjusting into new house, loss of energy / well beings, new business (and all the shocks that came with it), the overwhelming emotions of being pregnant, new role as a mother.  I tend to think about the future a lot and that unknown future terrified me. I was determined to change the extremities that I had in the past - I knew it just wouldn't work in the new life, now that I will be having this baby, my life & mindset would just have to change.

I never learnt about myself as much as before.

Observation of Baby's Personality So Far

Grabbing things

• Whenever I give her new stimuli (object above her head) - she does get excited, flailing her arms and legs - and try to grab it
• When she is in tummy time mode,  not too actively, depend on the item
• When she is in lying down, 
• Not everything is appealing  in fact half of the things I've offered she is not that interested. She is NOT interested at a lot of things - she likes something that has sounds,
  

Baby Brain

My New Life as a Mom

I think my routine is slowly established now - to a good direction

Typical day

• Nap / Rest
• Housework - laundry / tidy ups
• Research re baby

Typical evening

• Exercise
• Housework - dishes / prepare dinner
• Computer / blogging
• Productive - e.g. bookkeeping, sort out mails, etc.

Typical week - Daytime activities

Monday  - Circle of Security class
Tuesday  - Rhyme library / Playgroup / Mothers Group
Wednesday  - Clare / Doctors
Thursday - Emma / Nundah Group
Friday -  Pilate / See friends
Saturday  - Housechores / Outing / See friends
Sunday - Housechores / See family

Typical week - Evening activities

Monday  - Swimming
Tuesday  - Pilate
Wednesday  - Swimming
Thursday - PT session
Friday - Pilate (morning) - See friends
Sat/Sun - Weights

* * * 


NAP

Because my baby still wakes up every 3 hours or so - it is important for me to take a nap during the
day. By taking a nap during the day, it allows a clearer mind and less stuff ups. Also avoid feeling bad mood.



HOUSEWORK

• Plan / prepare food for baby
• Laundry
• Empty dishwasher
• Wash dishes
• Tidy up things

SELF CARE

• Sleep
• Stretches
• PT Exercise

PILATE CLASS, PT SESSION AND SWIMMING

• Swimming 3x per week
• 1-2 Pilate class
• 1 PT session

RIE parenting

• We not only respect babies, we demonstrate our respect every time we interact with them. Respecting a child means treating even the youngest infant as a unique human being, not as an object.
• We have basic trust in the infant to be an initiator, to be an explorer eager to learn what he is ready for. Because of this trust, we provide the infant with only enough help necessary to allow the child to enjoy mastery of her own actions.
• Our method, guided by respect for the infant’s competence, is observation. We observe carefully to understand the infant’s communications and his needs. The more we observe, the more we understand and appreciate the enormous amount and speed of learning that happens during the first two or three years of life. We become more humble, we teach less, and we provide an environment for learning instead.
• During care activities (diapering, feeding, bathing, dressing, etc.), we encourage even the tiniest infant to become an active participant rather than a passive recipient of the activities. Parents create opportunities for interaction, cooperation, intimacy and mutual enjoyment by being wholeheartedly with the infant during the time they spend together anyway
• Our role is to create an environment in which the child can best do all the things that the child would do naturally. The more predictable an environment is, the easier it is for babies to learn.
• As infants become more mobile, they need safe, appropriate space in which to move. Their natural, inborn desire to move should not be handicapped by the environment.
• We give the infant plenty of time for uninterrupted play. Instead of trying to teachbabies new skills, we appreciate and admire what babies are actually doing.
• We establish clearly defined limits and communicate our expectations to develop discipline.

Skincare vs Play/Baby mood

Ezcema is such an ongoing battle
When her skin gets worse, or doesn't get better, it makes me feel like I am a failed parent
But then when you worry about her skin so much
She protest every time you touch her face
Her mood changes from happy to grumpy when you try to do stuff on her skin
Sometimes to keep her mood happy I do less frequent application on the face
It is such a battle sometimes, trying to get that right balance